Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Lost and found, part two

I have never been lost between the moon and New York City.  (Though if not for my Yale traveling companions, I would definitely have gotten lost in New York City several times this summer.)  However, I recently realized that I did get lost between the Blue State and the Show-Me State on my journey to this Missouri life.

In the Blue State, I felt challenged and inspired--valued for my academic mettle and roused to go beyond my limitations and comfort merely for scholarly edification.  During the six-week seminar, surrounded by peers (who eventually became friends) of awe-inspiring intellectual giftedness, I wrote, read, researched, planned, and analyzed endlessly.  I absorbed every aesthetic I encountered--art, literature, history--and I thrived intellectually and spiritually.  I found myself in the Blue State.

And then it ended.  And I came home to the Show-Me State--the state of my youth--to begin this Missouri life.  And I got lost.  I have speculation how it happened, how I got lost, but really the story isn't about being lost--it's about being found--so I will leave the catalysts of my losing unnamed and instead focus on the finding. 

Oddly enough, I found myself again in the forward to Stephen King's Night Shift.  While I respect King's talent and voice, he's not an author I turn to for inspiration or beauty in language or character development.  Yet in the forward, his words about why and how he writes, something stirred in me, summoning the zealous spirit I lost when I left the Blue State.  And in those words about words, I found my own.  Some of them, primarily the ones about this Missouri life, will be shared with you here.  As for the rest--well the rest of them are for me.  For now.  But rest assured that they will be used to keep me from getting lost again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Regardless of your travels. You have always been a Missourian. Your voice is that of the upper-south. You can't deny that. The odd feeling you have had returning should be likened to the explorer returning home; learning to walk on land again; everything and nothing familiar all at the same time. I do not know why King writes...As a Missourian and a scholar, I think you write because you have to...this land is connected naturally to prose and poetry. We are the home of the brash, bold and outspoken (Angelou) as well simple, organic and understated (Clemens). As your brother I know that on any given day, you are the best of both.